Struggle Struggle Struggle!!!
I'm smoking again.
It's been one of those weeks if you know what I mean. Work, kids, Ex husband, money and the dog is driving me crazy.
Not one thing in there is an excuse to smoke.
We're trying to get things done on the house that was agreed in our settlement. It's not easy for me or for him to have to work on the house that he no longer lives in or owns and that makes me very sad that he is hurting so much.
The thing is that these things are not an excuse but a reason of why I can't stay focused on what I need to stay focused on and that's not smoking. As all of you know it takes all of our strength and focus to be able to quit smoking and I just don't have it. My focus is all over the freakin place. Each time I think things are settling down they start all over again. At those times is when I try to quit again.
A guy at work teases me on how much I quit and start smoking again. I see his point in a way. Everyone must think "What the Hell is she doing"? One day she quits smoking and 3, 4 or 7 days later she's smoking again. The reason being is that I don't want to smoke. I hate it and I'm having a hard time quitting.
You guys are so awesome and I hope I don't discourage anyone. The point of these blogs is quite the opposite of that.
You guys are doing great. Big Hugs to All.