Happy Sunday Everyone
As you've probably guessed I haven't quit yet.
In a way Peggy is right but I'm not ready to give into that yet.
My husband and I have decided to go ahead with the divorce. Even though we both know it's right and agree on everything, it's doesn't make it easy of course. He moved back out on Thursday, I spent Friday night and Saturday morning packing his stuff and he moved it out yesterday.
Although it's very traumatic, it'll get easier.
Just like Marilyn, I've had a few good cries but when you know something is right you just know.
We all have our "things" and I try not to get too personal on my blogs but that's what a blog is all about I guess. We have to say how we are feeling.
I have the support of my family even though they are far away. I have the greatest Mother in-law in the world who will always be there for me. If it wasn't for her I don't know how I would have gotten through my Mothers death and many other things in my life this past year. No matter what...We will always be there for each other and be very close.
I am still going to quit smoking!!! Really!!! I have to.
It's 6 AM here as I'm writing this in Massachusetts. I'm still trying to figure out the time stamp problem. I'll try to get that fixed today.
Hang in there everyone. You are doing wonderful.
In a way Peggy is right but I'm not ready to give into that yet.
My husband and I have decided to go ahead with the divorce. Even though we both know it's right and agree on everything, it's doesn't make it easy of course. He moved back out on Thursday, I spent Friday night and Saturday morning packing his stuff and he moved it out yesterday.
Although it's very traumatic, it'll get easier.
Just like Marilyn, I've had a few good cries but when you know something is right you just know.
We all have our "things" and I try not to get too personal on my blogs but that's what a blog is all about I guess. We have to say how we are feeling.
I have the support of my family even though they are far away. I have the greatest Mother in-law in the world who will always be there for me. If it wasn't for her I don't know how I would have gotten through my Mothers death and many other things in my life this past year. No matter what...We will always be there for each other and be very close.
I am still going to quit smoking!!! Really!!! I have to.
It's 6 AM here as I'm writing this in Massachusetts. I'm still trying to figure out the time stamp problem. I'll try to get that fixed today.
Hang in there everyone. You are doing wonderful.
posted by Tammy at 5:51 AM
8 Comments:
Well, Tammy ... only you can tell when the time is right. When you know the time is wrong, then it's just plain the wrong time. That much I've learned.
My time for me was finally right this time. I've got both positive and negative reinforcement working for me.
Quitting is all good, and going back to smoking would be all bad ... very bad.
That's what helps me bring myself up short if I get a little craving or start hearing the junky in me trying to get my attention.
It's like smack! BAD!!
Now look over here at the bright side ... Good!!!
I had a couple of smoking dreams last night. The one I remember the clearest was standing outside my office with a smoker colleague of mine. I lit a cigarette, much to his surprise, took two small puffs, it did nothing for me, tasted like s**t, made me feel guilty and I tossed the cigarette on the ground and crushed it with my shoe.
What I don't feel in my dreams when I smoke is how horrible it makes my lungs feel. But I remember very well when I'm awake ... and I'm not going back there again ... ever.
Tomorrow afternoon, March 20th at 1:26 PM Eastern time is my most favorite single moment of the year ... the vernal equinox.
SPRING!!!! Yahooooooo!!!!!!!!
Oh gosh Tammy! Life is not easy and with added burdens and problems added to it, it just seems crazier. We ALL go through trials and believe me when I tell you I have had my share too! My husband was an alcoholic for the first 26 years of our marriage and it took its toll on me, but I hung in there and now its paying off for me. He is a new person. I'm not telling you that to try to make you change your mind about divorce, just to let you know why it took so long for me to quit smoking! The "other half" in our life can make us think differently about smoking and we truly do believe that a cigarette is like a tranquilizer during those times of major ordeal. I KNOW!!! I have smoked many of those kinds of cigarettes in the past. I didn't want to be right in my previous comment to you but I could see the handwriting on the wall. Gather your self together, get your life in some semblance of order before you try to make any more major changes. I am always here if you need a shoulder and I will give you my email address if you would like to have an internet friend.
I do wish you the very best always!
I know what Fred means. The thoughts do creep up on you and then you have to say to yourself, you're not going back. I also had a smoking dream last night, for the first time. My new job has been stressful as they all are. Hang in there. Sorry, to hear what is going on in your life, Tammy
Hi Tammy I am sorry to hear that things have not worked out in your marriage. It certainly is a yo-yo time and perhaps trying to quit right now is a little ambitious.
But on the positive side, you've spent more time in the last few months NOT smoking rather than smoking, so its not all bad. And, you have provided the catalyst for a heck of a lot of other people to give the habit away, so thats pretty good too.
I am just going from day to day, and although I must be honest and admit that the thought to smoke crosses my mind now and then, I have this mental image of myself with the words 'YOU ARE A SPOONHEAD" tattooed across my forehead if I were to smoke again - i would be an absolute drongo (great Aussie term) if i ever picked up again!!
Anyway I'm comling to the end of Day 15 - little steps, little steps!!
March 21 day 16- i am not sure if I'm using this blog correctly, or whether its just been on of those times when people don't post much.
I hope all are well, and smokefree. I am also using the forums from about.com and I've found that pretty good too. I've picked up lots of little snippets and useful pieces of advice, and plenty of personal and interesting stories. I'm becoming addicted to computers now -scary!!
Tammy I hope things are moving alright for you. its a wonderful thing if a divorce can be calm and civilized, I tried it and it didn't work thatwell for me in the end. - be honest with your feelings and what you need, and don't sell yourself short.
OK have a great day all
PS Fred this one is for you - its not used much these days as we Aussies have got more "multiculchal" - "strewth Ruth, stone the bloody crows!"
PPS Fred, is New Jersey considered central US or midwest and what States surround it??
Have a good day all.
Jo, those expressions were totally new to me. It prompted me to locate a few Aussie slang websites. You've got a lot of very colorful expressions!
New Jersey is on the east coast of the US. We've got the Atlantic Ocean along our eastern border - (the well-known "Jersey Shore"), New York State to our north, Pennsylvania to the west, and Delaware to the south. New Jersey is actually a peninsula, although not as obviously as let's say Florida.
I work less than 20 miles from New York City. On the crystal clear morning of September 11th, I could see with my own eyes, in the distance, the horrible column of smoke, ash and dust that rose from the site of the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center. It looked like an atomic bomb had exploded. That is an image that I will never forget.
Hi all,
I haven't done this before, so I hope it gets through. I can't imagine how difficult the past few weeks have been for you, Tammy, and I hope that everything works out for you in the future. I thought things were bad for me -- I've got a new boss and we don't get along, so I'm trying to get a new job -- but this is nothing like dealing with a divorce. Just remember that the nicotine isn't actually making things better for you; it's just an addiction.
If there's anything we can do to help, please let us know. What is truly amazing is that by your example you've built a network of new friends around the world. you must be proud of this.
I'm also so impressed by all the stories of adversity and triumph that I've read over the past two months and more. I'm humbled by the inner strength that so many people here have shown.
Best wishes to you all,
Pete
Tammy, if things are OK with you, post and let us know how you're going . I worry when we haven't heard from you for a few days. And is there anyone else out there??
I'm starting to feel like everyone has disappeared!!
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