Tuesday, March 28, 2006

I just can't do it now I guess





I stopped smoking and then my husband and I made plans to meet to go over some things and there I was again...Smoking a cigarette.

It's not him that makes me smoke but the stress of the situation. Things are getting a little easier with us so I'll just have to wait until the time is right and realize that I'm not ready now.

You guys are still doing great though.

Hang in there.

3 Comments:

Blogger Darlene said...

I am sorry to hear that. Someday you will get there. But, I still just pick a new date. Maybe, it is a month from now or whatever. Today is day 87. Almost 3 months. I feel pretty good, even with the stress of a new job. Have a great Tuesday.

9:13 AM  
Blogger Jo said...

Tammy, I think your best bet is to leave making a date until you are almost throught the process of divorce, if its stressful now, its gonna get worse, before its a done deal.

I am coming off some of the most stressful times i can remember - Meg had one of her assessments today, and its not just the fact that she is probably autistic, its fighting the red tape and bureaucratic bullsh** that goes with the health system. Its a friggin shambles, its actually worse now than when Daniel was diagnosed 12 years ago.

I'm not abstaining from the "thingies" because of any great notion of my outstanding willpower - its merely that I am staying away from that sh** because of Meg, not because of me - if she turns out to be significantly delayed, I need to make sure I am around for her, because autism is one of those disabilities for hich there is no cure, just improvement..

I'm trying to be positive - but I don't give a fat rat's clacker - I'm too tired and drained, thinking of another 15-20 years home therapy. The next person who advises me that I should "think positive" will probably get kicked up the street. If i can get through most of the day without hitting the wall, then that's a good day at this stage!

So, lungs are clear, head is like a wet sponge. Take care all, be positive (aarghh) and have a good day.

10:50 AM  
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8:38 PM  

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