I'm ready...I think
I smoked my brains out this morning and felt so sick. I have no idea why I smoked so much. I crushed the rest of the pack and I have a patch ready to put on. I don't want to put it on too soon as I must have a lot of nicotine in my system.
I really hope this is it. I'll have to keep myself very busy today and tomorrow.
How is everyone else doing??? I hope you're hanging in there.
My life has settled down a bit and I feel like I can begin to move on and that means doing it smoke free!!!
My son is busy all weekend so I have to whole weekend to do what ever I want. I'm not sure what that is at this time but I could use a little fun is my life. Because I'm quitting smoking it could mean a lot of sleeping.
I'll try and post later tonight to check in and hopefully I haven't run to the store for smokes.
Wish me luck (again).
I really hope this is it. I'll have to keep myself very busy today and tomorrow.
How is everyone else doing??? I hope you're hanging in there.
My life has settled down a bit and I feel like I can begin to move on and that means doing it smoke free!!!
My son is busy all weekend so I have to whole weekend to do what ever I want. I'm not sure what that is at this time but I could use a little fun is my life. Because I'm quitting smoking it could mean a lot of sleeping.
I'll try and post later tonight to check in and hopefully I haven't run to the store for smokes.
Wish me luck (again).
posted by Tammy at 9:57 AM
9 Comments:
Good luck ... again.
I'm doing really well with my quit. As always, I don't take it for granted, and I know the junky in me just sits there and waits for his opportunity. That can come at any time, or it may be years down the road. It would take a major personal catastrophe to open that door, but he's there, and I know it.
Meanwhile, I've lost most of the weight I've gained since I quit smoking. It's been two weeks since I made some dietary changes, and I've lost 8 of my 10 post-quit pounds. I don't expect to keep losing weight at that rate though. I know from experience that I'll stop the weight loss for awhile - probably soon - stay at that weight for a little while, and then begin losing again. If I can lose another 15 I'll be really happy.
I haven't checked my "quit calculator" lately, so I looked a few minutes ago. Today is day 84 - 12 full weeks.
I love this mental image. There's a pile of 2,500 cigarettes in my mind's eye. That's what I've spared myself so far. :-)
Good luck Tammy. I am in my first week on quit number who knows, I've lost count. The main thing is to just keep trying. Don't give up on giving up.
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Fred sometimes babbles too much.
I am with Fred, day 84 too. But, I also keep in check with the junkie thinking. I agree, he is lurking somewhere, waiting for the opportunity. That has always been my downfall in the past. So, as summer approaches and I end up partying alot more with smokers, I have to be on guard. That is always where I get too confident. Good luck to Tammy, just take 1 day at a time. I also am going to try to lose 5 lbs this week too. I have been saying that for the last 10 years. I feel if I can quit smoking, I certainly should be able to shed a few. Have a great Sunday. Darlene
Rats, its Monday morning as i post this, - wish I was the other side of the world, and then it would be Sunday!!
Day 62/22 for moi - Darlene and Fred, you both made such relevant comments about that junkie thing. I've noticed that recently too - whilst all the heat was on ,I was pretty good about staying away from "thingies".
How stupid is it that now things are settling down for me personally, the thought of "thingies" crosses my mind. I don't think I'm in any acute danger of stuffing up, but that junkie boy is always there isn't he, lurking at the back of one's head.
Had a lovely weekend - my big boy who is 17, had his high school ball - his last one - and to see him on the dance floor and joining in with everyone was just sensational. He will graduate from high school in December, and I'm so proud of him, he has done so well despite his social handicaps. Well done Daniel!!
Good wishes to all for a great day, clean and smoke free. Tammy hang in there, and just keep ploddin". Cheers
The bestest of luck to you, Tammy!!!
I am still quit since 12/31/05 at 10:30 pm et. I don't have any junky feelings anymore, and I've been around my brothers who smoke and with whom, when we are at my Mom's (which we were this weekend) usually step out and have a smoke together. I didn't even flinch when they went outside. As a matter of fact, I felt badly for them and told them that I hoped they would get to the place that I am.
Trust me when I say I've had occasions where in the past, I would have smoked in this quit. The desire has not been there and I really know that this time is going fine because the thought has not been there for me.
One day at a time Tammy, sometimes one second at a time, just don't make it a big deal, at least in the way that you are giving something up. You are GIVING yourself a HUGE gift!!!!!
Just wanted to clarify my comments about the junky in me.
It's not junky feelings, as in current or active cravings or thoughts. I can't even really say when the last time was I had even a minor craving. Whenever it was, the thought was so fleeting as to not even make an impression in my conscious memory. I can and do hang out with my smoking colleagues with no problems at all.
Happily, this is no longer a struggle for me in any sense of the word. I have successfully reinvented myself as a former smoker. I will never refer to myself as a "non-smoker", because that ignores what I was and the damage I've done to myself, and it disrespects and trivializes the pain and struggle I've gone through to wrestle myself away from a terrible addiction.
Rather, what I'm talking about when I refer to the junky in me is that part of my brain that was so affected by 35 years of nicotine addiction, that it would still (and forever will) try to overcome my good sense, resolve and will power during times of extreme negative emotional experiences. It will try to blind me and blindside me into reaching for a cigarette.
It absolutely has succeeded in doing so in the past. That is why I recognize and respect its potential power.
I'm almost 3 months into this, and it's easy going at this point. But I can never let myself forget that if and when the time comes, I will need to be very strong for myself.
I am with Fred on this one too. You should just be aware of the junkie feeling. I know it is different for everyone, however, I just know from my past, is where I was at a party and had too much to drink and I think just one. That has always been my downfall in the past. So, this time, when I think this will occur, I have to be more prepared and just say no and the mantra. NOPE. Take Care
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