Friday, April 28, 2006

Hi Everyone!

So glad you're all doing so well and are still there for each other.

Peggy's post makes a lot of sense. I can tell you've been where I am. My marriage ending was like a death and I need to be able to give 100% to a quit which I can't do right now.

Because there is so much turmoil in my life I have to focus on my son, my job and my health (even though I'm still smoking). I can't let this situation get the better of me.

I am doing ok although I have my rough days. When the time is right I will quit. I just hope I can quit before an illness makes me quit.

I know I don't post as often but I do read your comments almost every day. Stay strong everyone!!!



Sunday, April 23, 2006

Sorry guys and Gals!!!!

Struggle Struggle Struggle!!!

I'm smoking again.

It's been one of those weeks if you know what I mean. Work, kids, Ex husband, money and the dog is driving me crazy.

Not one thing in there is an excuse to smoke.

We're trying to get things done on the house that was agreed in our settlement. It's not easy for me or for him to have to work on the house that he no longer lives in or owns and that makes me very sad that he is hurting so much.

The thing is that these things are not an excuse but a reason of why I can't stay focused on what I need to stay focused on and that's not smoking. As all of you know it takes all of our strength and focus to be able to quit smoking and I just don't have it. My focus is all over the freakin place. Each time I think things are settling down they start all over again. At those times is when I try to quit again.

A guy at work teases me on how much I quit and start smoking again. I see his point in a way. Everyone must think "What the Hell is she doing"? One day she quits smoking and 3, 4 or 7 days later she's smoking again. The reason being is that I don't want to smoke. I hate it and I'm having a hard time quitting.

You guys are so awesome and I hope I don't discourage anyone. The point of these blogs is quite the opposite of that.

You guys are doing great. Big Hugs to All.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Almost Half of a week : )

Day 3. I'm feeling great. I've had cravings of course but not too bad.

I joined weight watchers the same day I quit. People say not to do both at the same time but I think this will work for me. At 42 (almost 43) it's hard to lose weight and I can't gain anymore. I'm still trying to get the weight off I gained this past year. I think this is a good move for me.

I already have more energy and walked 1.5 miles yesterday at lunch. I'm going to try and do the same today. I'm going to commit to exercise 3 days a week but hopefully do more.

I hope and Pray that I never ever smoke again...But I'm just living for today. I know I will not smoke today.

Have a great Friday everyone. I'm so glad everyone is still smoke free and posting on the blog.

Smoke free hugs to all.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Day Two Baby...

Whoohoo!!! I'm back in the groove.

I've had cravings but I'm doing ok. I am already breathing better although I had a coughing fit yesterday at work. I think a couple people were ready to call 911. I finally caught my breath. I think this happens to me each time I quit smoking. My boss says that my lungs are not expecting so much oxygen and doesn't know what to do with it. : )

My ex even came over last night, it wasn't pleasant and I still didn't smoke. That's progress as far as I'm concerned.

I had a couple urges to go outside yesterday at work and light up but it passed quickly. I need to go for a walk when I get those urges.

I will not smoke, I will not smoke, I will not smoke... No matter what is going on in my life, I will not smoke.

Thank you everyone for all the nice and encouraging comments. This has GOT to be THE quit. I can't keep doing this to myself.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Here I go...

Day 1 for me.

I had my last cigarette last night about 8:00. Wish me luck. I'm REALLY going to need it.

I feel better all ready. I didn't wake up hacking. I know I have a lot of clearing to go but I didn't have that gross throat from smoking 2 packs yesterday. Lately, I've even been getting up in the night and smoking.

My ex is supposed to come over tonight to help me with a couple things but I think I'm going to cancel. I'm not taking any chances.

I feel a little funky this morning but not too bad. I was actually going to quit on Friday but I felt so bad that I really didn't want to wait until then.

On the way home from work yesterday I had 4 cigarettes left and I told myself, I need to either buy a pack of cigarettes or a box of patches. When I went into the drug store I still didn't know what I was going to do and just went up to the counter and asked for the patches.

I'm glad everyone is still here. I'm going to need the support.

Fred, We love reading your comments. You've been a great support to all of us. I hope to keep hearing from you.

Happy smoke free day everyone!!!!

Monday, April 10, 2006

Sooooooo Sorry...

I haven't Posted.

I totally understand you wanting another blog, you want someone committed. My life took a little detour in commitment I guess. Absolutely no offense taken.

I have to get to work this morning but I wanted to do a quick update and then I'll do a "real" post later today.

I'm doing well and adjusting to being single and a single Mom. I'm happy and just trying to keep up on everything. I have one HUGE problem though...I'm smoking more then I ever have in my life. I'm ready to quit and stay quit this time.

I'm so glad everyone is still smoke free. I'm so proud of everyone.

I'll post again today as soon as I have time.

Hugs to all!