Friday, April 28, 2006

Hi Everyone!

So glad you're all doing so well and are still there for each other.

Peggy's post makes a lot of sense. I can tell you've been where I am. My marriage ending was like a death and I need to be able to give 100% to a quit which I can't do right now.

Because there is so much turmoil in my life I have to focus on my son, my job and my health (even though I'm still smoking). I can't let this situation get the better of me.

I am doing ok although I have my rough days. When the time is right I will quit. I just hope I can quit before an illness makes me quit.

I know I don't post as often but I do read your comments almost every day. Stay strong everyone!!!




Blogger Darlene said...

Well, sorry to hear how it has been for you. I am sure it is depressing. Well, for now, take care of yourself, and maybe for the time being just cut back. That way, you feel alittle more in control about things. D

9:22 AM  
Blogger Peggy said...

Tammy, I try with my posts to share some of my experiences in life and perhaps help others. I am 56 years old and I've been through pretty much everything there is to go through, death, divorce, someone close to me doing drugs, alcohol you name it! Life is what you'd call it only some of us get to live it a lot more than others!!! I'm chuckling because I used to ask God why, now I understand that He loves me and still believes I'm worthy so He keeps testing me.
Jo, I am so in admiration of your attitude about raising autistic children! One of my grandson's has some degree of autism and its a challenge but so rewarding. You are in my prayers, as are all of you who have become my new friends.

10:08 AM  
Blogger neil said...

Hi Tammi,

Sorry to hear that you are having a rough go of it at the moment. Just know that your posts and all the responses that have been collected here have been an inspiration for many, including myself. Keep it together as best as you can....
This week was a long one without smoking but its over - well done everyone!!

8:17 PM  
Blogger Jo said...

Hi its looking bleak and horrid out our window here - I HATE winter, miserable bloody season it is. Bah!! Even roaring fires and a bottle of red don't always help - last night I singed my strides, and woke up with a...........could it be a hangover?!!

neil, you are doing really well with your quit, I wish I had been as switched on when I was younger, but I cannot kid myself any longer, young i am not.

Peggy, thanks for your comment - I must admit that some days are better than others, and I still have a way to go with getting myself wholly in command of myself again, but each day is getting a little easier.

It would be very handy though, wouldn't it, if we were allowed to see the grand design, and work out just why we are sent certain things, and what we are supposed to be learning from it. It might all make a bit more sense.

I'm back on day 4 - not that I'm really keeping count - just staying smokefree really, and it hasn't been that much of a challenge resuming non-smoking. My spouse is trying to quit, and struggling, so i am feeling smirkily superior (for once) to the male in my life.

Well we have a busy day ahead - middle son's football, hockey for me this pm, Dan's got a movie night, and a birthday tomorrow.........its not mine, OK it is!! 44 - who'd a thunk it? So better get on and get moving..have a good day all!!

PS - still working on honorary titles for Darlene and Peggy, my creativity kind of got swamped in the last half of the bottle last night......

10:12 PM  
Blogger Darlene said...

Hey, I am doing ok. Have a bit of a hangover myself today today. My mother's birthday yesterday. I noticed since I stopped smoking, it seems liquor works quicker. Hope everyone is hanging in there. Neil, stay tough. & Jo Happy Birthday to you. Make it smoke-free. I also can't picture Australia having a winter. ( i hope that is where you are from) Have a good one. D

12:56 PM  
Blogger Jo said...

Yes, I'm from Oz, and we certainly have a winter and on the edge of the desert where we are, its get damned cold at night.

8:24 PM  
Blogger Fred said...

Day #1 ...

of my fifth month.


7:38 AM  
Blogger Peggy said...

And me as well, Fred!

7:45 AM  
Blogger Darlene said...

Me, too. Happy to report 4 months today. But, that sounds even better. Day 1 of our 5th month. Have a good one and celebrate. Yippie, we are smoke free.

9:29 AM  
Blogger neil said...

Fred - you scared me!

I'm three days away from one month down and let me tell you its been the longest month of my life me thinks!

3:52 PM  
Blogger Fred said...

Heh heh heh ... sorry 'bout that, Neil.

No, I'm not. :-)

I was trying to snag someone ... anyone, with that little ploy.

Thanks for admitting that I managed one success. :-) Gotta keep your sense of humor in this crazy world of ours.

Very happy to hear you're so close to that one month milestone. That is such a huge mental boost to be able to say that.

Don't short yourself either. It's a big deal!

Treat yourself to something special that day. You deserve it!!

4:39 PM  
Blogger Jo said...

Alright now that Neil has admitted it - yeh, you nearly gave me a heart attack as well, Fred!! I thought OMG, what happened?!

Neil to be up for one month is just sensational. Its a hugely significant milestone, and you have done extremely well. You have great discipline, and congratulations to you, my friend.

You talked about me be inspiring with the kids, well YOU are inspiring me at the moment - so good on ya mate!!

We are all doing well, and the support of this little community is great. haven't heard from Molly or Catherine or Peter for a wee while, how are you guys going??

7:58 PM  
Blogger Fred said...

heh heh ... another victim ;-)

I'm staying on track for slow, controlled weight loss.

After losing my post-quit 10 lbs., I lost another 5 lbs over the last 3 weeks. Another 10-15 lbs is my goal over the next 2 1/2 months. I'd be thrilled to get to and stay at that weight. I should be able to accomplish that as long as I remain patient, and stay the course.

I've kicked up my morning walk a notch. Started pushing it from 1 mile to 2 miles. Time for me to go do that right now!


7:35 AM  
Blogger Darlene said...

good for you Neil, 1 month is fantastic. I have probably one of my biggest tests this weekend. A Kentucky Derby party. I figure there will be 4 or 5 times that I could be tempted. So, I guess I will have to be prepared for those times. But, you know I feel more strong about not smoking than I used to in my past quits. It seemed like such a daily struggle and always wavering. I feel I am in a much stronger better place. & now I know it was junkie thinking all those times in the past. This probably made little sense to anybody. Well, have a great day.

9:30 AM  
Blogger Fred said...

Oh, quite the contrary, Darlene.

It makes perfect sense to me, as well as others here.

Once I finally recognized the junkie for what it is, how it attempts to control my conscious thinking, tries to get me to make up any sort of stupid excuse or rediculous reasoning to pick up a cigarette again ... once I looked myself in the mirror and said, "Take your life back ... you're in control now - NOT the junkie!"

The rest was easy.


I'm in control here, not some stupid, addictive weed.

Yes! Houston, we have LiftOff!!

10:17 AM  
Blogger neil said...

Morning All,

Thanks for all your kind words.
Like I said before my biggest struggle is this crazy junkie thought telling me I have plenty of 'good years' to smoke still!

Darlene - I think its good that you know that you are going to be facing some big triggers in a few days. Maybe you should prepare a 'tool kit' to handle your cravings when they come.
What keeps me from smoking more than anything right now is desperately not wanting to have to go through the first days and weeks of a quit ever again!!

Fred- Maybe we'll see you in the fall running the NYC marathon!! We can meet in Staten Island for the beginning....

Jo - has your other half ever tried quitting with you before? My partner quit with me and its been an unbelievable help!

11:10 AM  
Blogger neil said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:11 AM  
Blogger Darlene said...

I think I will bring a quit kit with me to this party ,mentally and physically. I feel like I am making way too much of it. You know, you made up your mind Jan 1st and you are sticking with your decision. So, I will have fun but be strong. & You know, I am not going to screw up this quit for a little party. I still take Fred's advice. You have come so far, you don't want to screw it up and go back there. I am not going there again. D Have a good night, day 123

8:28 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

Hi Jo, Hi All

Still here, still not smoking, and as Fred said, into the fifth month. What a journey, and I'm delighted to have defeated the junkie. Good luck to everyone,

8:20 AM  
Blogger Fred said...

Peter, I'm with you.

But don't ever forget that the junkie will ALWAYS be lurking ... waiting ...

Don't ever let down your guard.

10:55 AM  
Blogger molly said...

I thought I had better write something so there is a new post on here for everyone to read. I am still having a day to day struggle, but I suppose it will get easier with every day that passes. The slip up I had a week ago probably didn't help my cause too much. Anyway I guess you just move on from there. I live in the mountains and it is starting to get really cold which is making it harder to get my daily walk in with my dog, which has been really helpful when I'm feeling really strung out. I congratulate all the long term and short term non smokers and I hope I can call myself a longtermer in the future. Have a great weekend everyone

8:16 PM  
Blogger Fred said...

Sing along with me folks (if you're old enough to remember the song, that is)

Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette.

Puff, puff, puff until you smoke yourself to death!,

Tell St. Peter at the Golden Gate

That I hate to make him wait

But I just gotta have another cigarette.

(Fred says: not me. no more. not no how. done and done and done, baby.)

9:13 PM  
Blogger Darlene said...

Hey, thanks for the inspirational song. Derby party today and I know I will be OK today. I reread the mantras today and I know I am not ruining this quit. I have come so far. I am done with it too. Have a great weekend. We need an update from you Tammy. Hope everything is well with you.

10:08 AM  
Blogger Darlene said...

Guess what? I had too much to drink last night and I had one cig with my friends at this party. I feel terribly guilty about it. & the worse thing is that it wasn't good, it wasn't bad, it was just so neutral. I realize how stupid it all is and it really doesn't do anything for anyone. So, I feel awful, trying to forgive myself because I said I wouldn't and even hung out with the smokers all night long like I was testing myself to see how strong I was. I feel pathetic. But, it was just one. ( & I know that's all it takes) But, I have never felt so guilty last night or today like I was had an affair. Well, I am back on track although hungover. Everyone have a wonderful Sunday and a smokefree one, too. I know I will. D

I even feel dumb telling everyone on this blog, like I have let myself and everyone down.

12:49 PM  
Blogger Jo said...

Darlene, You've come almost five months - it was one cigarette, not one PACK that you smoked! It is not the end of the world. The worst thing you could do now is beat yourself up so much that you start full on smoking again to console yourself.

Don't let guilt put your sense of proportion out. Just carry on from where you left off! You have been a strong and committed person since January 1st, that has not changed overnight. Just forgive yourself and move on. You go girl!!

8:43 PM  
Blogger Darlene said...

Hey, thanks. I know I still needed a pat on the back. Look on the positive and move forward as I have in the past. Today is today and it is what it is. But, I am totally committed. Thanks for the pep talk and I am not going to beat myself up on this after today. Thanks. D

9:06 PM  
Blogger neil said...

Hey Darlene,

The important thing is not to just go back to your old smoking again. Like Jo said, its important to carry on as before.
I've deliberatly stayed away from drinking too much because I don't trust myself not to smoke when I'm drunk. At the same time i don't want to completely change my life around either because I quit.

10:51 AM  
Blogger Darlene said...

Thanks for words of encouragement. It is wise to stay from drinking and people who are drinking and smoking. Because everyone knows it definitely changes your thinking. I have been doing just fine and am staying with the quit. Like I said, I have come to far to start over again. Have a good one

9:28 PM  
Blogger Peggy said...

Tammy, I miss you and sure would like to know that you are okay. If you would like to email me, it is

Happy Mother's Day! and hang in there kiddo...

9:02 AM  
Blogger Darlene said...

Happy Mother's Day to everyone, and make it smoke free. Tammie, hope everything is well, please update us.

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Blogger Peter said...

It makes you want to start smoking...Spending years doing a series of degrees only to discover you can get them in two weeks!!!! lol

No, just joking about wanting to start smoking again. Five whole months nearly round the corner.

Good luck to you all. Missing you Tammy

5:07 AM  
Blogger molly said...

Mucked up big time have to start again and am on day 2. Feeling miserable and disappointed with my self.

6:46 PM  
Blogger neil said...

sorry to hear about that molly. what happened that caused you to lose your quit?
I'm just passed the 5 week mark myself. To be honest the last few days have been just as hard if not worse than the first few days.
How's everyone else doing? Fred?


9:29 PM  
Blogger Fred said...


Based on participation, this blog has gone to seed.

I may check back one in a while, but my regular posting is done.

I wish you all success in your quits.

Take a deep breath. Remember when that used to hurt, or put you into fits of coughing? I do. I remember. You must remember too.

Keep on doing it. Do it for yourself. That is THE only way it will ever work.

Be strong, and keep strong.

This is a life-long committment. I'm not ever going back to that bad, dark place. It sucks there. I want no part of it.

How about you, my friend?

9:29 PM  
Blogger Jo said...

I think the blog has kind of passed on too. Its becoming a reiteration of things already said, and I think maybe the blog has got kind of tired. i will check back once ina a while also, but I doubt I will post every day. All the best to all. I am going to work now, (night shift) - ghastly!!

7:56 AM  
Blogger molly said...

Well I'm still here and struggling and maybe Tammy will be back with us soon so I'm staying. The long term successful quiter's probably don't need the blog anymore but I certainly do. I find the blog much easier to navigate than the forum at I get lost over there and don't really know what to do.
So I'm staying. I hope there are a few others who want to stay too. I desperately want to be an ex smoker and so far I haven't been particlulary successful but I'm still in there trying. I can use all the help I can get.

7:01 PM  
Blogger Darlene said...

I know. I liked the blog. It does feel alittle tired. But, I enjoyed having new friends from around the world that were going through what I was going through. Molly, hang in there. Really try to read that book "Alan Carr's method to quit smoking". I thought it helped. At least, it seemed like it shifted your thinking quite a bit. Instead, of thinking of quitting as such a sacrifice you felt more empowered. You really aren't missing or giving up anything. Hang in there. I still am going to check on this blog here and there. But, I want to thank everyone for being encouraging. It really does help with the quit process. I really didn't think it would, but I was wrong. Darlene

9:16 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

Dear all,

I'm sorry there isn't a way to continue this blog, because I still value the advice and friendly comments.

It was this blog that helped me quit, and although I can hear Fred warning about the nicodemons (!!) I'm sure I won't start again.

It would be a shame to lose the friendships started here, so I'll hang around awhile yet.

Best wishes to you all

8:21 AM  
Blogger neil said...


There are lots of different sites out there that can provide some support with your quit. I don't know if you're going cold turkey or not but if you are, try There is lots and lots of stuff to read and msg boards as well.
Although I'm behind Peter,Jo, Fred and the rest with my quit (about 6 weeks now) this blog and the comments have been a big help to me so although I won't (and never have) post every day necessarily I will continue to poke around.



11:05 AM  
Blogger Peggy said...

Hi everyone, I've created a blog until Tammy comes back so that you all will have a place to write to one another, and I will keep typing on how my quit is going as well.

Here is the link,

1:37 PM  
Blogger Fred said...


4:44 PM  
Blogger Jo said...

Hi anyone out there still??

8:34 PM  
Blogger Fred said...


1:06 PM  
Blogger Fred said...





1:23 PM  
Blogger Fred said...

ok, Tammy.

I'm gonna hold my breath 'til I turn blue ...

\ /
o o
( . )

8:26 AM  
Blogger Fred said...


12:26 PM  
Blogger Jackiew said...

Hi Tammi, great blog you have here - good luck with quitting, it is hard work but boy once you stop smoking you never look back!
My husband and I were both chain smokers until we gave up abour 14 years ago when my husbands father died of a smoking related cause...

anyway all the best - if you need any more info advice or tips on quitting smoking check out my blog at

all the best


11:51 AM  
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Blogger Al said...

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9:52 PM  
Blogger WAGSS1 said...

This is the same message as above, Fixed up the bad grammer etc...

This business about quitting smoking is all wrong.

Forget Will Power, patches fake cigaretts etc.

I smoked for 20 years and stoped overnight and when I look back now (20 years later) is was mainly common sense and a "real wish to stop" and not an " I should."

I've written sheet on how to achieve it. Email me and ill let u know how to get a copy.

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Blogger lolataylor1988 said...

I agree with most of the other comments. In order to quit you have to be in it 100%, mind, body and spirit. Emotional turmoil can stray that focus and you may find yourself continuing to give in. I for one needed some help along the way. I heard great cigarrest reviews so I used their products to help get through those dark day. But I am 5 years without a cigarette. I am keeping you in my prayers Tammy, keep holding on.

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Blogger MaryR said...

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Blogger shanta islam said...

Keep up with your positive outlook even with not knowing what the next steps will be. Your attitude has been one of your biggest allies in what you have been through the past 4 years. You are also incredibly lucky to have someone like Dr Sara taking a very personal interest in you. Not all doctors behave like this. I'm lucky to have had an incredible one myself for the past 30+ years, and it helps just knowing that they care. You are not just another patient to them, thinking of you often, Dave and Debbie.
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